Be Humble, but let Mother F***ers know....

We artists are an insecure, bunch aren't we?

When you’re unsure of yourself, it can be tempting to try to get reassurance from your peers. Reassurance that comes from praise, nods of approval etc. But what if you don’t get that? Does that mean you’re not good at what you do? Absolutely not.

What you need to understand is that as artists, we are all doing something very vulnerable when we show our art, especially when you have an audience viewing the process of building the art (i.e. rehearsals), and then you have an audience viewing and “judging” the final product (i.e. the paying audience). Does what they think count? No.

Wait a minute, how could what they think not count? They are the ones “judging” your art! If someone makes a snarky comment about the 2 hours they spent watching your show, doesn’t that count for anything??? Nope. Because they weren’t a part of the process.

But what if they REALLY know what they’re talking about?? and I mean, like, they write REVIEWS on the shows they see. Still no.

Did they study the script with the rest of your cast and your artistic staff? 

Did they come up with the decisions that your team decided were best for your production?

Did they spend hours rehearsing, interpreting, learning, memorizing, fixing, tweaking, re-spacing, re-learning, agonizing over, pulling their hair problem solving? 

Nope. The answer to all of this is nope.

Not only does their opinion not matter, but it must in no way impact your performance. If they see you on opening night and give you their notes, and they think you should have played the part differently than you did, you have to be courageous and say “oh cool thanks”, even feel free to agree with them so they shut their opinionated mouth,  and tomorrow night, go back do what you rehearsed. If you don’t, you’re betraying everyone else that put in the hard work on your project. One person’s opinion doesn’t count no matter how much you think they know.

There’s a wonderful Teddy Roosevelt quote that I have framed and hung up at work…

“It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena…”

Brene Brown has a quote summarizing this, which I love so much, and it’s 

“If you aren’t in the arena also getting your ass kicked, I’m not interested in your feedback.”

Before I go on, I’ll admit, I have TOTALLY been the person picking apart performances and productions and have been critical. I’m not saying it’s not ok to do that. That’s part of learning: saying outloud what works and what doesn’t. Critical thinking and discussion is a part bettering yourself as an artist.

I guess what I’m saying is 1. there’s no reason to be mean about it. 2. If you’re on the other side of those kind of comments, remember, they don’t matter.

It’s important though, to know “they don’t matter” doesn’t mean “they don’t exist”.

Critics do exist, both in the official form of people are paid to critique work and write about it, and in the non-official form in people who come to see your work and have something to say. Invite them in, let your work be seen, but also know that what they have to say ultimately means nothing. If you’ve put in the work and did your best, that’s all you can do. If you put your heart, soul, sweat, and tears into it, your work is something worth seeing. 

People you don’t know are probably talking about it, and saying good things that you’ll never hear.  You know in your heart how you did, what you could do better next time, what you really nailed. Your director is the eyes in the audience you need to trust. Listen to them. You don’t need someone outside of your production or project’s opinion to know if your work has merit. It does.

There’s a quote I love, the title of this post, and it’s “be humble, but let m fer’s know.” I think the meaning behind this is do the work without talking about it. Be awesome, and let people see it without the commentary. It can be hard, especially when you’re first starting out, but once you’re established you can do it.

When are you “established?” Right away. You can do it no matter where you are in your career. 

We’ve all done it. We want to impress someone, so in the conversation, we drop anecdotes about our career so they know how big of a deal we are.  In some ways, this can be a part of networking/self promotion/being known. When that’s the case, go for it. Most of the time, there’s really no need. Show them how good you are not by talking about your resume or humblebragging about a callback you got. It’s so unnecessary. Also, it’s so obvious when you’re doing it.

You can still let the motherfu**ersknow. Here are some ways to let them know

1.       Be on time for rehearsal

2.       Be prepared, familiarize yourself before coming in, and be ready to work on what's on the schedule. Know what’s going on

3.       Memorize your stuff earlier than everyone else. Make it seem like it’s easy, and you didn’t really do much, but you really worked your butt off

4.       Have big strong choices to bring to the director

5.       Be awesome

6.       Be consistent

7.       Be someone your fellow actors can rely on and they feel safe in a scene with you knowing it’s not going to be a train wreck

8.       You know that thing that makes you awesome and different than everyone else? Bring that to the table, and give 100% whenever you can. Whatever 100% is that day. It varies day to day.

9.       Be really nice to everyone, be a team player, make them look good, be helpful and respectful to all the production staff, learn everyone’s name, ask about them and what's going on in their lives. Be personable.

Those are just a few examples of “Letting them know”

Finally, being humble doesn’t mean not recognizing what makes you awesome. That’s not it at all. Great reviews, callbacks, getting exciting work, and praise are all such good things, and are so important to internalize. 

I think there's a misconception in our society that we shouldn't boast, so we don't let the good stuff sink in. That's the wrong approach. Let it sink in, know the difference between confidence and cocky, but know all of the good traits you have as well as areas of opportunity. No one's perfect, but you need to be able to know what makes you special, and all you've accomplished.

 Let the good stuff build you up, write it down and read it when you’re not feeling good about your work, pick a really close friend to share the accomplishments with and celebrate with them, build your confidence with all that amazing stuff, so you don’t have to have everyone else tell you when you’re doing great, you’ll just know, 

Collaboration with Artistic Staff

So I read an article on “Backstage” and it says “Singers: Stop Trying to Use your Diaphragm, it’s like telling an athlete to “start pumping your heart.” Reading this made me need to write something about how to talk about singing when working on a project. These are just my thoughts, and other people may have varying opinions, so take what I say with a grain of salt, but it might help.

I am happy to say the majority of the time I’ve spent in a vocal rehearsal has been wonderful. Either the person I’m working with is happy enough with what I’m doing and we’re making tweaks here and there, and we're able to communicate about what needs to happen in a respectful, collaborative way that is easy for me to understand, grasp, and deliver on.

*Before I go into it more, after reading what I wrote, I think it's very important I write something that's more important than anything else...Don't be a diva. Sometimes frustrations will come up when collaborating with someone, but you have to be a team player, you have keep your emotions and ego in check, and you have to come into any rehearsal situation with flexibility, respect, an eagerness to try, a willingness to compromise, or it's not going to work. You have to know how you are in rehearsals weighs heavier than how you are in performance for those you're working with. If you want to work with them again and have a good reputation, play nice in sandbox!*

There have been times I’ve been in singing groups or shows where the person who I’m working with is, or thinks they are a voice teacher, and they are going to “teach me how to sing.” I don't think that's the best approach for anyone, certainly not for me, as I already have a voice teacher. I know it’s not the last time I’m going to run into it, so here are some things you can do if you’re in a similar situation.

First off…if you can, or haven’t already, find a voice teacher or coach you trust very much that you can work with from show to show to show, that knows you, your voice, how to help and the two of you speak the same language. That’s huge. If you’re working on a project, you may be working with a music director for a few weeks and it’s over. They aren’t in charge of, responsible for, or should have a major impact on how you sing. Their job is to work with you to get you to have the work sound  the way the artistic staff envisions. If they cast you in a role, it should be pretty similar to how you actually sing, if it’s not, that’s an entirely different issue that you have NO control over. If what you bring to the table isn’t what they want, they should have cast someone else, and that’s not your fault. Don’t get down on yourself or go crazy trying to be something you’re not. 

Next, once you’re working with them, try to ask questions about what they are looking for, and pay attention to the words they use to describe the sound they are going for. Personally, a lot of times in musical theatre, the note I get is “it’s too big/dark” or “can you try it less legit.” I have a big voice, and I’m classically trained, so my voice tends to naturally sound big and on the operatic side. It doesn’t mean I can’t adjust that. However, I’m never going to sound like Justin Timberlake. If they want that, they can’t get it from me, because our voices are biologically very different.

 Luckily, in my case, if they want less, all it is taking away things. So in my mind, I might think “not so anchored, you don’t need to use all the resonance you have, just talk, sotto vocce, lighten it up.” Really easy fixes.

It’s harder when they are asking you to give something more that your voice can produce naturally. I’ve had that happen to. In one scenerio, they really wanted was an operatic baritone. I’m a tenor. I’m not going to be able to sing notes at the bottom of my range with a lot of quality. So telling me to “sing bigger” isn’t going to work because that’s not how my voice is built. You may have that too. They may want “a more legit sound”, and I’m sorry, but unless you’re trained like that, they aren’t going to get what they’re looking for. You can’t fake training or slap a band aid on lack of it…*cough* Russell Crowe in Les Mis.

Where I start to get frustrated, shut down, and want roll my eyes is when I go through a piece of music, and the person I’m working with says “ok. That was good. Do this for me (saying my lyrics in a nasal voice).” I get exactly what they’re trying to do. They are trying to "teach my to sing the way they want it to sound"

 What do you do in this situation? Ask them what they are looking for, and say “ok. I’ll think about that”, and work on it. Try to focus on the result the both of you are looking for in the performance. Show them that you can take direction and don’t need to be spoon fed.

It’s the equivalent of a director giving you line readings or telling you to “act more mad”. You’re smarter and more talented than that! In the same scenario, ask them what they want. If they say “I want you to be really mad,” then accept the fact that you are working with someone who wants a real performance out of you, but doesn’t know how to get it, and instead, translate that into something active. “act more mad” means “I’m not believing your intention in this scene. Whatever you’re doing is not reading to us. I interpret that your character is angrier than you are playing it right now, and that’s what I want to see.”

What can you do? Raise the stakes. Turn that direction into verbs that you can use to change the behavior of your scene partner. He/she wants mad? Try to REALLY INTIMIDATE the other character. Think SPECIFIC HEIGHTENED subtext about what that character did to you and WHY you’re angry, and pairing those 2 together will give the director what they want, and it’s done in a way that’s organic and not faking it.

The way they gave you the direction is not specific and it’s in a way that might make you think think faking it will be ok for them. Guess what? It’s not ok for the audience. They will see it. You’re in charge of all of your performances regardless of where you’re working or who you’re working with. 

Your reputation as a performer is your responsibility, so you need to do things that are right for you, while being easy to work with.

I went off into a bit of a tangent there, but what I’m trying to get at is you have to have your tools and technique in your toolbox for both singing and acting. Harness them, refine them, build on them. They’re yours. You need to be able to use them even when someone you’re working with doesn’t speak the same artistic language as you, and that could happen a lot. You could have people that try to give you line readings and micromanage, you could have people who are so hands off you feel lost You need to be able to deliver “the goods” no matter what the scenario. The best way to do that I think is asking questions about what they want, listen to the words they're using, give them options, clarify, try to translate what they want into a language you understand in your head and work on it that way. I hope this helps.